i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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