whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
