By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Randomize
