Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
this hospital has no fireball
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
