it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
