everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
