wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
