is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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