in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
