there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I have post one night stand depression
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