all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
