so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
