break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Randomize
