i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
