I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
