it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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