I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
