Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
