what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You are the jesus of drinking
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
