I cockslap morals
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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