Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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