Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
