in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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