were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
