I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
