This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
