I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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