I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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