I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
