no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
