After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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