This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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