oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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