Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
