Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
