well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he was CRYING into my vagina
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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