Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Randomize
