I smell stomach acid.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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