i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
