I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
