from now on my penis is your penis
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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