Duck Duck Cougar?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
