i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Randomize
