Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
