Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
