You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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