Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
