I'm going to jail i love you
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
