Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
