i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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