Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
