i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
